summer man.

ello ello dear blog,

yes it's been a while, once again, i think we've established that i suck with keeping in touch and blogging daily. i apologize, once again. hah. well now thats out of the way, have i told you how happy i am that the days have become warmer and everything is much greener outside and my skin is slowly tanning to a nice healthy brown? this is partially the reasoning behind my lack of blogging. since being at home i have been one busy lady. i do have some good news to share though:

- i got my first assignment since joining the alliston herald as a freelance photographer and two of my photos ended up being printed-one of them showing up on the front freakin' page of the weekend edition of the newspaper. HECK YES that is going in a frame up on my wall in my art room. muahah i was so stoked i did my happy dance when i saw it :)

- i also recieved a call back from good o'l blockbuster asking me if i was still interested in a job. so if all goes well with my references i will now have three jobs on the go. well more so two since the freelancing one will be every now and then. so the result of this if all does go well is LOTSA FREAKIN' MOOHLAHH. yessss i am so excited now because before i was a bit disapointed since basically all of my money that i will make this summer will be saved into my bank account to pay for as much of my tuition/parking fees/car insurance/gas/more photographic equipment as possible. so i was pretty bummed cause i would have no leftover money to spend on myself AKA super hipster clothing to get me out of my style rut. happy dance ? i think so!

- the past few weekends i've managed to take a zillion photos and they've all turned out pretty swell and im really happy about that. what i'm not happy about is the facebook photo uploader hating my life and not letting me upload them. eff you facebook photo uploader..

- not only have i been taking photos i have been baby sitting my beautiful nieces like every other day. i've managed to make up for some of the time that i was away at school and missed out on some of the important things in their lives. for example, i went to M's soccer tournament all day today and got to see her score her first goal of the season! i was exceptionally proud of her because you could see it on her face how happy she was. i like these kinds of moments. they make the crappy things in life non existent.

- i went to kensington market for the day with my boy. it was pretty sweet exploring all of the little vintagey shops in the market. i wouldve loved to have bought a tourqouise silver ring or a beautiful silver locket or the ridiculous amount of wooden jewellery that was being sold in the little stands but they all cost more than the 2 dollars i currently have in my bank account, hah oh well i'll hopefully get to go back at some point, with more than 2 dollars and be able to buy one.

- my momma has a week off from work this week so we're finally going to be able to repaint the house since moving in. SO that means ill get to re-paint both my bedroom and my artroom. and maybe even unpack the rest of my boxes of stuff that are still sitting in the closests. i was thinking a jewel tone purple colour with white wainscotting (sp?) on the bottom half of the walls with black furniture. and a giant wallsize cork board that will be dubbed "amanda's wall of inspiration!" PLUS i have a goal of exercising more since summer has started. i would like to lose a few inches and possibly tone up so i can feel half decent in a bathing suit this summa. we shall see how that goes though!

well that is about all that i can think of for the good news that has occured in my life so far. although my social life will probably disapear once i start working at blockbuster and earl rowe, im hoping it will all be worth it in the end.

peace&love!

-urbs.

my little corner of the world.

the past few weeks i've been feeling extremely restless.
i dont remember summertime feeling like this last year.
i feel like i dont know what to do with myself.
there are a zillion things i should probably finish around the house
like finish unpacking my boxes of things and finish setting up my art room.
but there is zero motivation to do it. as soon as i start one thing, another thing
catches my eye and then i get distracted and nothing gets done.
oh such lame excuses.
maybe once i get a hold of a job, ill have some sort of routine so ill be able to
slowly finish everything. maybe. who knows. im such an indeciesive person its
ridiculous.

well here are a few things i am hoping to accomplish by the end of the summer time '09:

- obtain a part time or full time job for the summer.
- un pack the rest of my stuff.
- create a reading list and read as many books as possible.
- even out my rugby/driving tan.
- paint a masterpiece.
- organize my endless amount of photographs and maybe create
a series of something to maybe exhibit or sell...a girl can dream!
- fix up the missing pieces of my car
- work out and tone up my chuubb!
- GO TO THE BEACH and show off my newly toned body..muaha a girl can dream, again!

well thats all that i can think of off the top of my head.
heres a few more links to check out that i've found:

The Blisslist: http://blisslist.typepad.com/
- always has the best music that nobody has ever heard of.

Karmaloop: http://www.karmaloop.com/
- online clothing store that has an endless amount of brand names that are well know or totally unknown. Some items are a bit pricey but the clothing is uhmazing.

Fashion Chronicles: http://www.fashion-chronicles.com/
- fiercest fashion photos and inspiration that may just help you get out of that fashion rut.

That's all i've got for now, link it up and enjoy :)
I'm going to go and try to find something productive to do with my time.

peace&love
-Urbs

"Sydney you're totally not fat, you're like the perfect size!"

Those were the words that came out of my SIX year old nieces mouth. Yes. my baby niece, Danielle* who when first born made my bawl like a friggin baby every time i looked at her in the incubator because i was in so much awe that i was an auntie and i would get to help guide this little girl throughout her life etcetc. Now i know girls mature faster then boys, but lately, the stories shes been telling me when she gets home from school make me slightly concerned at what has been influencing her and the girls at her school.

The quote in the title of this blog was from a story she told me about how a girl, Sydney* who is a year older than her thinks shes fat, and had told my niece. What frightens me is how in god's name are 6 and 7 year old girls worrying about if they think they are fat or not. THE WORD FAT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE IN THEIR VOCABULARY AT THIS AGE. Now Danielle has been raised in a very loving family, with parents that tell her she is beautiful and loved every second of every day of her life since the minute she popped out and started wailing. Actually scratch that, since the day they found out they were pregnant with her. We always try to teach her that being healthy is more important then being thin or obese and that everybody is different in their own ways, body shapes included. Obviously such topics are sensitive because you don't want to project the wrong ideas and you need to be careful in the way you word things because they can always be misinterpreted. When my niece sits there and tells me such stories, it is so disapointing and frustrating because she and her friends shouldn't be worrying about insignificant things at such an age, or ever for that matter. It wasn't till about middle school that i started to get lower self esteem and become extremely self concious about my body image. To this day i still struggle with self-acceptance and its something that i hope she never has to go through.

I question where these girls get such thoughts too. Is it the media and what they are seeing on television and movies? Or who their favourite music idols are? I've never thought Hannah Montanna was that bad of an influence. I mean yeah, some of the publicity surrounding Miley Cyrus hasn't ALWAYS been positive but its not like my niece sits there and reads the tabloid magazines. And i will admit, i have watched my fair share of Hannah Montanna episodes and i haven't ever really noticed anything horrible about it. Mind you Danielle still watched the Treehouse channel because of my youngest niece who will be 2 years old next november.

I've racked my brain that past few days, and came to the conclusion that i cannot control everything that my nieces do, what they watch, who they hang out with, despite wanting to protect them from such things as society's ridiculous and unrealistic perspectives on what true beauty is or something simpler as realizing that boys really don't have cooties (all of the time). Even though the thought of them growing up and becoming more exposed to the real world and the sometimes bleaker aspects that come with it, all i can really do is answer all of their questions to the best of my ability, show them the better parts and opportunities of our world, be there whenever they need me, and hope to god that when it comes to making decisions they're able to take what they've learned and apply it so the outcome is something that will make them happy.

peace&love.

-Urbs

*names have been changed.

technically unemployed. FML.

so i am home from school as mentioned before. i've had several job interviews and applied absolutely everywhere, also previously mentioned but i just can't seem to get a job in this ridiculous small town. i managed to get hired in about a week 1/2 when i was living in toronto with absolutely no problem whatsoever. move back home and so far all i've managed to successfully accomplish is my freelancing job at the local newspaper. Although this is totally awesome and really good publicity, i have yet to recieve my first assignment which is fairly disapointing cause that means zero cash for me. I've also applied for this marketing researching job where you basically get paied to fill out surveys and give corporate companies your opinion on their products etc. Brilliant opportunity and obviously i've signed up, but its also going slow-i have to wait for these corporate companies to send me these surveys. I'm not very patient as you can see. My stash of cash is running ridiculously low so all i want is to just start working so i can pay for my car and save up for school since i most likely will not recieve as much financial help from OSAP.

ugh. enough financial and school talk.

yesterday was my two year anniversary with my boy :)

it doesnt feel like two years has gone by already, time goes by so fast! i still remember our first date and the first time we kissed and how ridiculously giddy i was. it really does feel like it was just yesterday. i know i've expressed it an endless amount of times throughout my blogs but i'm just really glad we've made it this far. i love him too much for my own good and although i think of myself as independent, i would feel a bit lost without him in my life. who would be there to make me fall over laughing from his silly jokes and random moments of craziness? who would be there to cuddle and rub my back for me!? and really, who would be able to know me inside and out as well as he does, its hard to say but i've never had anybody know me to the extent where all i have to do is look at him and he knows something is wrong. so in conclusion to this point; michael i hope we get to celebrate more anniversarys and experience more events throughout our lives. i love you with my whole heart! xo

well, its fairly late and i should probably get some sleep. as of right now i have been going to sleep at 230-300 in the AM every night and waking up around 1030 in the morning. DEF not enough sleep for mee.

peace&love.

-urbs.

its been too long.

so i've been seriously slack on postings. i know, i suck.

life got crazy towards the end of school, but im happy to say that i passed my first year of university! muahah and with decent grades too :). so now that school is done and summer is here, this is a lowdown on what i have been up to:

- road trip to st.catharines the minute my last exam finished.

- slept in till 2 in the pm every day my first week home.

- had a couple of job interviews, landed my first gig as a freelance photographer for the local newspaper! look for my name at the bottom of some photos ;) aha can't wait to start that.

- couple of picture adventures here and there

- a zillion trips to dairy queen for a georgia mud fudge blizzard-my guilty pleasuree. its going straight to mah hippss!

- bonfire to see some old friends :)

- spending lotsa time babysitting my nieces !

- working on my carr, yes i am slowly becoming a grease monkey paha

- trying to plan out a weekend to see leviana, my bff from university.

- being a computer nerd and surfing the world wide web for cool new blogs & websites

-FINALLY gave into the twitter craze paha, i seriously suck at it

- went to the cottage with my boy for our two year anniversary [which is on thursday ! <3]

- and in between all of that helping out with my old high school's rugby team, had a practice today and a game tomorrow! Let's go marauders!

So far so good for summer, i just wish the weather would warm up. It's been flip flopping all over the place between super humid, to thunderstorms and loads of rain and then back to the freezing cold with ridiculous wind. i just cannot wait for my first trip to the beach that is for sure.

well thats about it so far, ill post links to those new blogs i've found over the past few days that you should most definetly check out if you have a minute!

http://leloveimage.blogspot.com/

-a entire blog dedicated to images of love. can we just say that IM IN LOVE :)

http://levianacoccia.blogspot.com/

- one of the most inspirational people i've everr met. her writing is uhmazing.

http://factandfiction-bridget.blogspot.com/

- this girl is hilarious. i don't remember the last time i laughed outload after reading justone post.

http://ihatealice.blogspot.com/

- cutest doodles of my life.

enjoy!

peace&love.

urbs.

but something happens that makes you feel so good.

it's going to be okay.

i'm not scared of whats going to happen anymore,

of what to expect in the future - near or far.

i know i'm strong, and when my boy's with me

i know we're invincible.

regardless of what happens, everything will

be okay.

after packing up my stuff this past weekend

to get ready and move into the new house,

i finally found this piece of paper that i thought

was lost forever. it was from a magazine that i

bought in the 9th grade downtown st.catharines.

it was one of those magazines that had amazing photo

graphs and really cool articles in it. one that most people

wouldn't buy that's like 13 bucks instead of 3 or 5.

there was one article in it that talked about the beauty of

uncertainty in life. i'd like to share that with you and

whomever reads this lame blog of mine, which i'm sure

isn't many people. but i'm hoping that if anyone does

stumble upon my lame blog, that it inspires them as it

did me:

"We are compelled to replace doubt with conviction,

to replace confusion with clarity, to be more fearful of old ideas

instead of new ones. Nothing is more disparaged than the person

who is lost, hesitant and anxious. Yet the true path to fulfillment

comes from these conditions. Uncertainty becomes truly beautiful,

when connected with the certainty that there is a better life beyond

the life that is known. What is going to happen next is more enticing

than what is happening now. The thrill of anticipation, the mystery

the unknown, the open road, mistakes as portals of discovery, the

inevitability of change, purpose from chaos, questions leading to

answers, failure as the threshold of knowledge. All of these conditions

inform the life of the adventurer, the human being who is engaged

in becoming. The beauty of uncertainty is that it prepares us to embrace

life in the face of death. It allows us the strength to deal with the freedom

to choose. Nothing moves forward except by craving to seek certainty from

uncertainty.

Embracing uncertainty is to say yes to life; to say yes to death and destruction,

the success and failure, the tragedy and the triumph. Lord Bryon said that the

great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain. The beauty of

uncertainty is that it allows us to overcome our fears, allows us to take risks so

we can experience faith. A life without uncertainty is that it is ambiguous and

ambiguity encourages us to create, search, explore and travel. As one of us once

said- "When you're tired of change, you are weary of life itself". The beauty of

uncertainty is that it allows ideas to cultivate and grow and hopefully transcend

to the tyranny of the untested word.

Follow your bliss. Imageine. Seek the high road. Know thyself.

Embrace the earth. Stay awake. Welcome to the journey and

to the beauty of uncertainty."

- Brian Hendricks.

at this point i would normally apologize for having written such a lengthy blog, but i'm not going to this time. i've decided i'm going to stop saying sorry unless deemed appropriate. i'm going to stop worrying about what others think of me and to stop trying to please everybody else for the sake of their opinion of me. i know the people that love me will always love me for who i am, flaws and all. they will understand my theory of friendships and relationships and that they include TWO people, not one, therefore both people need to contribute to making things work. i've realized how truly important family really is, even though i'm arguing with mine half of the time. they've got my back and i've got theirs and i always will. i've realized how truly beautiful love is, and how important it is to be passionate in life no matter what you are doing or who you are with. in the words of a love struck poet from Baz Lurhman's Moulin Rouge, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return".

peace&love.

always.
-urbs.

obama's my homie.

just been surfing the net looking at some photos for my visual communication journal and i was looking through older archives at boston.com and i found this: http://www.boston.com/bigpicture/2008/11/the_next_president_of_the_unit.html

totally got me excited about the fact that he is finally president. peace&love obama! show em how its finally done :)

life updatee: i've lasted through midterm week, which i am so very grateful for. i managed to stay stress free majority of the time regardless of the fact that i didn't get to study as much as i would have liked-that being my fault and not managing my time as well i probably could have since midterm week creeped up much faster than i thought it would. but i learned my lesson and this reading week i intend to finish as much work as possible, maybe even finish my journal early (its due at the end of the semester) because it is ridiculously time consuming, more so than i thought. i've got a buncha stuff due the week after we get back and than after that its pretty smooth sailing, nothing due for a couple of weeks which will be an uhmazing feeling because i can relax a bit, maybe take a few more shifts at work so i can save up more money before the semester ends and i move back home, quite possibly jobless once again.

my very first article was published a couple of weeks ago in Futuréale which i was surprisingly very proud about despite not looking at myself as a journalist or a writer etc. It was about Toronto's Top Five Blogs, go to http://www.futureale.com/ and check it out :) i've got another article coming up in the March issue about the Toronto Free Gallery which is showcasing a couple of my own photos that i took when i went downtown to check the place out even though it was ridiculously crappy weather.

While downtown i got my nose pierced at the parlour next door after finishing my interview at Toronto Free lol. Parents were not too happy about that but they've gotten over it :) I'm hoping on getting a little hoop in the next couple of weeks depending on my money situation.

I'm missing valentines day with my boy since i'm up at the cotttage with my famjam but s'all good. i surprised him with a chicken dinner last night even though he was feeling really sick. [hope you're okay love] had alittle bit a meltdown earlier yesterday, which was my fault for over reacting..still a bit sensitive to some things but i'm feeling better and i'm looking forward to this summer/next year.

i can't really think of anything else at this point, it feels like its midnight and its not even 1030, i should probably get going though, get up earlier than usual tomorrow so i can get some homework done and maybe even draw a bit in my sketch book, finish michael's drawing of spiderman and venom :)

peace&love.

-urbs.