Sunday, March 1, 2009

but something happens that makes you feel so good.

it's going to be okay.
i'm not scared of whats going to happen anymore,
of what to expect in the future - near or far.
i know i'm strong, and when my boy's with me
i know we're invincible.
regardless of what happens, everything will
be okay.

after packing up my stuff this past weekend
to get ready and move into the new house,
i finally found this piece of paper that i thought
was lost forever. it was from a magazine that i
bought in the 9th grade downtown st.catharines.

it was one of those magazines that had amazing photo
graphs and really cool articles in it. one that most people
wouldn't buy that's like 13 bucks instead of 3 or 5.
there was one article in it that talked about the beauty of
uncertainty in life. i'd like to share that with you and
whomever reads this lame blog of mine, which i'm sure
isn't many people. but i'm hoping that if anyone does
stumble upon my lame blog, that it inspires them as it
did me:

"We are compelled to replace doubt with conviction,
to replace confusion with clarity, to be more fearful of old ideas
instead of new ones. Nothing is more disparaged than the person
who is lost, hesitant and anxious. Yet the true path to fulfillment
comes from these conditions. Uncertainty becomes truly beautiful,
when connected with the certainty that there is a better life beyond
the life that is known. What is going to happen next is more enticing
than what is happening now. The thrill of anticipation, the mystery
the unknown, the open road, mistakes as portals of discovery, the
inevitability of change, purpose from chaos, questions leading to
answers, failure as the threshold of knowledge. All of these conditions
inform the life of the adventurer, the human being who is engaged
in becoming. The beauty of uncertainty is that it prepares us to embrace
life in the face of death. It allows us the strength to deal with the freedom
to choose. Nothing moves forward except by craving to seek certainty from

Embracing uncertainty is to say yes to life; to say yes to death and destruction,
the success and failure, the tragedy and the triumph. Lord Bryon said that the
great art of life is sensation, to feel that we exist, even in pain. The beauty of
uncertainty is that it allows us to overcome our fears, allows us to take risks so
we can experience faith. A life without uncertainty is that it is ambiguous and
ambiguity encourages us to create, search, explore and travel. As one of us once
said- "When you're tired of change, you are weary of life itself". The beauty of
uncertainty is that it allows ideas to cultivate and grow and hopefully transcend
to the tyranny of the untested word.

Follow your bliss. Imageine. Seek the high road. Know thyself.
Embrace the earth. Stay awake. Welcome to the journey and
to the beauty of uncertainty."

- Brian Hendricks.

at this point i would normally apologize for having written such a lengthy blog, but i'm not going to this time. i've decided i'm going to stop saying sorry unless deemed appropriate. i'm going to stop worrying about what others think of me and to stop trying to please everybody else for the sake of their opinion of me. i know the people that love me will always love me for who i am, flaws and all. they will understand my theory of friendships and relationships and that they include TWO people, not one, therefore both people need to contribute to making things work. i've realized how truly important family really is, even though i'm arguing with mine half of the time. they've got my back and i've got theirs and i always will. i've realized how truly beautiful love is, and how important it is to be passionate in life no matter what you are doing or who you are with. in the words of a love struck poet from Baz Lurhman's Moulin Rouge, "The greatest thing you'll ever learn is to love and be loved in return".