Thursday, September 25, 2008

Soon We'll Be Found.

These pictures i took over the past week or so with my new Nikon D200. I finally got it! I'm pretty happy, but i'm still learning how to use it. I've used manual SLRS and film majority of the time that i'm taking pictures, so finally getting a digital slr is a big deal lol.

I'm going home for the weekend tomorrow night. I'm really hoping for a good time, and no stress. I still have my cold from like three weeks ago, and i'm starting to think that its stuck around for so long because of stress, and a shitty sleep schedule. Once again, if all goes well, my cold will be gone come monday.

Well even if this weekend goes bad, ill have the weekend after to look forward to; Nuit Blanche is going on October 4th. It'll be my first year going, and i really hope my plans work out and ill get to stay as late as possible. It's an all night sort of thing, and goes till sunrise. There is art all over Toronto. I'm excited. Check the link if you want:

another late night with another early morning.

Thursday, September 18, 2008

my neverending to-do list.

my never ending to-do list.
was started on:
Tuesday, November 6, 2007 at 11:35pm

NOTE TO SELF; do all of these things before i die.

-get through highschool.
-get accepted into college/university.
-move to toronto.
-live in a loft with humungus windows.
-tag the side of a train.
-visit La Sagrada Famillia in Spain.
-go to the Louvre and see the Mona Lisa plus some.
-climb the entire Eiffle Tower.
-take a picture in the L'Arc de Triomphe.
-finish writing my novel...eventually.
-go to california/hawaii/austrailia and learn how to surf.
-learn how to snowboard. [without killing myself]
-learn how to nollie on pavement [without killing myself]
-take a ride in a gandola in Venice Italy [before it sinks]
-have one of my art pieces in an art gallery.
-open up my own art gallery dedicated strictly to graffiti.
-learn how to sew. and make my own clothes.
-figure out the subway in toronto without getting lost.
-buy a pair of shoes from Goodfoot without going broke.
-go snorkeling in the carribiann again!
-die my hair blonde
-cut my hair all off [pixie cut!]
-see a solar eclipse.
-learn to speak spanish and italian. and as many languages as possible.
-go on a cruise.
-go to a deathcab for cutie &/or postal service concert.
-take ballroom dancing lessons.
-go to a real haunted house and look for ghosts!
-lay in a field of grass taller then my knees and make daisy crowns.
-have a picnic by the water.
-learn to do a front handspring AND a backflip..eventually..w-out killing myself.
-get a tattoo. plus some.
-go on a road trip.
-learn to play a song on the bass. okay maybe the chorus of a song for now.
-go to new york. and have a picnic in central park.
-see the statue of liberty while im in new york.
-go to poland and visit my family.
-go back to belgium and see my family.
-while in belgium see one of my cousin Jacque's broadway shows/movies.
-see the great wall of china.
-go to japan.
-meet a real geisha.
-spend a weekend in an oceanfront/view beach house.
-own a laptop.
-learn to longboard!
-own a pair of jimmy choo heels.
-own anything marc jacobs or chanel.
-create a daily workout regime and finally learn to love my body.
-inspire someone.
-grow my hair long enough so i can donate it.
-see a New Zealand All Blacks rugby game.
-learn how to play the piano..again.
-get my ears re-pierced.
-get my cartalidge pierced.
-learn how to take disapointments gracefully- not personally.
-create my own shoe design. [on blank vans]
-try painting with coffee. literally.
-spraypaint a huge canvas.
-sell one of my own canvas pieces; for more then 10 bucks.
-organize my ipod.
-make a sports team in university.
-go see as many art galleries as possible in toronto.
-Buy Lights' EP at HMV
-get a Nikon D200.
-take a picture of one of Banksy's graffiti stencils.
-find a new hair style.
-lay in grass under the stars, before winter comes.
-buy an ipod touch.
-buy nothing on 'Buy Nothing Day'-November 28th 2008
-Pay back my mother my cell phone bills/camera debt.
-Get through my first semester of university.
-get proposed to in the most thoughtful and sweet way possible, when the time is right. be continued.

Monday, September 15, 2008


so we've talked things through, face to face. and i feel much better letting him know where i stand. although we talked i still feel as if he didn't talk enough. but im going to let it go for now at least. at the moment things feel somewhat back to normal- as normal as they'll get. i really should be doing my reading, but the chapters are filled with topics that just do not interest me. its kinda disapointing that the class is tomorrow morning at 9. which means i have to wake up at 7 just so i can actually wake up, stumble around a bit until i finally get my stuff to go shower. i really hate morning classes, im not entirely sure why i chose two of my classes to be morning classes. i dont know what i was thinking lol.

this is really a pointless post. something to do just so i dont have to read those chapters. i've never really been good at staying away from distracitons. one of my downfalls i guess. oh well, i'm trying out my very first yoga class tomorrow so i have something to look forward to :)


Friday, September 12, 2008

'the boy least likely to'

i'm afraid of letting go
of everything i know.
so i just sadly float away
down stream.

Sunday, September 7, 2008

issue of the day.

my issue of the day: relationships & girls.

i try my hardest not to be the jealous bitch girlfriend who tells her boyfriend he's not allowed to talk to the girls that she dislikes. really. i don't because i know if my guy did that to me, i would not be happy. this isn't always easy because of my stupid insecurities. lately i've been really good- happy with where i am in life and who im with, what our relationship is like etc. but theres a few things that have been bothering me but i can't help but feel that i am over reacting. so because i feel that i'm over reacting i don't want to bring it up to him and him think that i'm nagging and get into a fight over nothing. so what do i do?

this may just be me, but it feels like the past week or so, since i left for school and everything, things don't feel like they used to. he feels more distant, or it could be me i have no idea at this point, and it just seems like we don't have as much fun as we used to when we're together. have we gotten stuck in a rut? i've just noticed small things that he used to do but doesn't anymore. this is the part where i start to think i'm over reacting. i don't know what to do, but i do know that my emotions are going haywire and my insecurities are all coming back like a damn tidlewave.

this weekend didn't go the way i imagined it. :(

Saturday, September 6, 2008

do you remember when?

do you remember when we were young and in love?

i am home for the weekend. i never realized how much you miss the simple things until you have them taken away from you temporarily. i missed my bed so much. i slept in till 1pm today. something that i haven't been able to do since i moved into residence. the latest i slept in was probably 10am. i talked to my cousin derek today. something i havent done too much over the past few years. he helped me figure out which nikon camera to buy. i don't know what i would've done without his help today. well i wouldn't have saved almost two thousand dollars thats for sure. so now i have to patiently wait until my nikon d200 is delivered to my house. i cannot wait to start taking pictures with that thing. it'll be glorious C: after talking to derek today, we've managed to make plans for next weekend, my mom and i are most likely going up to see him and my younger cousins sara and sonya. they've grown up so much since i saw them last. funny how things work out.

despite having a productive afternoon, my night didn't turn out exactly how i would have hoped. a friend bailed on me. probably for the 4th or 5th time now. you'd think i would've learned my lesson the first or second times she did it. i've been told i see the good in people too much. maybe i am ignorant to some things? maybe i just try to give people the benefit of the doubt. my mom says that you can't trust many people anymore. i don't believe her entirely. how can you live a normal life if you live it being skeptical of everyone that crosses your path? i guess i'll have to figure that one out on my own.

i can hear the train coming by, a familliar sound that i haven't heard in a while. instead i hear planes flying over my campus building, getting ready to land at the airport nearby, where people have loved ones awaiting their arrival, or an idle taxi cab waiting to take them to their next destination.

i wonder what tomorrow has in store for me.

Thursday, September 4, 2008

you are all i need and more.

i've started a new book. cracked open the new spine. flipped to the first chapter. i'm growing up.

i've completed my first week at university. i've survived. the first few days were nervewracking. i felt extremely out of place, and in some situations i still do, but i've discovered a new confidence about myself. a new skin that i sit comfortably in- something that i've never had or experienced before. i've met so many interesting people whom i look forward to creating amazing friendships with.

i still miss my boy. but i imagined my reaction to be completely different. i miss him, but i'm not diminishing with every passing minute we're not together like i thought i would. like i usually am when i've gone away the few times this past year. is it because we have no choice? no way out of this situation? there are still moments where i fear i'm losing him because we can't see each other, feel or touch each other, enjoy each others company. that there is some other girl who's slowly sweeping him off his feet. someone else who's caught his eye. i eventually realize i am over thinking and in order to keep myself sane, stop thinking these mundane thoughts.

i'm coming home for the weekend. i look forward to sleeping in my room again, and saying goodbye to a few friends. seeing my family and my boy. i hope i won't get upset leaving again.

i've never really been good at goodbyes though.