Friday, May 22, 2009

my little corner of the world.

the past few weeks i've been feeling extremely restless.
i dont remember summertime feeling like this last year.
i feel like i dont know what to do with myself.
there are a zillion things i should probably finish around the house
like finish unpacking my boxes of things and finish setting up my art room.
but there is zero motivation to do it. as soon as i start one thing, another thing
catches my eye and then i get distracted and nothing gets done.
oh such lame excuses.
maybe once i get a hold of a job, ill have some sort of routine so ill be able to
slowly finish everything. maybe. who knows. im such an indeciesive person its

well here are a few things i am hoping to accomplish by the end of the summer time '09:

- obtain a part time or full time job for the summer.
- un pack the rest of my stuff.
- create a reading list and read as many books as possible.
- even out my rugby/driving tan.
- paint a masterpiece.
- organize my endless amount of photographs and maybe create
a series of something to maybe exhibit or sell...a girl can dream!
- fix up the missing pieces of my car
- work out and tone up my chuubb!
- GO TO THE BEACH and show off my newly toned body..muaha a girl can dream, again!

well thats all that i can think of off the top of my head.
heres a few more links to check out that i've found:

The Blisslist:
- always has the best music that nobody has ever heard of.

- online clothing store that has an endless amount of brand names that are well know or totally unknown. Some items are a bit pricey but the clothing is uhmazing.

Fashion Chronicles:
- fiercest fashion photos and inspiration that may just help you get out of that fashion rut.

That's all i've got for now, link it up and enjoy :)
I'm going to go and try to find something productive to do with my time.


Thursday, May 14, 2009

"Sydney you're totally not fat, you're like the perfect size!"

Those were the words that came out of my SIX year old nieces mouth. Yes. my baby niece, Danielle* who when first born made my bawl like a friggin baby every time i looked at her in the incubator because i was in so much awe that i was an auntie and i would get to help guide this little girl throughout her life etcetc. Now i know girls mature faster then boys, but lately, the stories shes been telling me when she gets home from school make me slightly concerned at what has been influencing her and the girls at her school.

The quote in the title of this blog was from a story she told me about how a girl, Sydney* who is a year older than her thinks shes fat, and had told my niece. What frightens me is how in god's name are 6 and 7 year old girls worrying about if they think they are fat or not. THE WORD FAT SHOULDN'T EVEN BE IN THEIR VOCABULARY AT THIS AGE. Now Danielle has been raised in a very loving family, with parents that tell her she is beautiful and loved every second of every day of her life since the minute she popped out and started wailing. Actually scratch that, since the day they found out they were pregnant with her. We always try to teach her that being healthy is more important then being thin or obese and that everybody is different in their own ways, body shapes included. Obviously such topics are sensitive because you don't want to project the wrong ideas and you need to be careful in the way you word things because they can always be misinterpreted. When my niece sits there and tells me such stories, it is so disapointing and frustrating because she and her friends shouldn't be worrying about insignificant things at such an age, or ever for that matter. It wasn't till about middle school that i started to get lower self esteem and become extremely self concious about my body image. To this day i still struggle with self-acceptance and its something that i hope she never has to go through.

I question where these girls get such thoughts too. Is it the media and what they are seeing on television and movies? Or who their favourite music idols are? I've never thought Hannah Montanna was that bad of an influence. I mean yeah, some of the publicity surrounding Miley Cyrus hasn't ALWAYS been positive but its not like my niece sits there and reads the tabloid magazines. And i will admit, i have watched my fair share of Hannah Montanna episodes and i haven't ever really noticed anything horrible about it. Mind you Danielle still watched the Treehouse channel because of my youngest niece who will be 2 years old next november.

I've racked my brain that past few days, and came to the conclusion that i cannot control everything that my nieces do, what they watch, who they hang out with, despite wanting to protect them from such things as society's ridiculous and unrealistic perspectives on what true beauty is or something simpler as realizing that boys really don't have cooties (all of the time). Even though the thought of them growing up and becoming more exposed to the real world and the sometimes bleaker aspects that come with it, all i can really do is answer all of their questions to the best of my ability, show them the better parts and opportunities of our world, be there whenever they need me, and hope to god that when it comes to making decisions they're able to take what they've learned and apply it so the outcome is something that will make them happy.



*names have been changed.

Friday, May 8, 2009

technically unemployed. FML.

so i am home from school as mentioned before. i've had several job interviews and applied absolutely everywhere, also previously mentioned but i just can't seem to get a job in this ridiculous small town. i managed to get hired in about a week 1/2 when i was living in toronto with absolutely no problem whatsoever. move back home and so far all i've managed to successfully accomplish is my freelancing job at the local newspaper. Although this is totally awesome and really good publicity, i have yet to recieve my first assignment which is fairly disapointing cause that means zero cash for me. I've also applied for this marketing researching job where you basically get paied to fill out surveys and give corporate companies your opinion on their products etc. Brilliant opportunity and obviously i've signed up, but its also going slow-i have to wait for these corporate companies to send me these surveys. I'm not very patient as you can see. My stash of cash is running ridiculously low so all i want is to just start working so i can pay for my car and save up for school since i most likely will not recieve as much financial help from OSAP.

ugh. enough financial and school talk.

yesterday was my two year anniversary with my boy :)
it doesnt feel like two years has gone by already, time goes by so fast! i still remember our first date and the first time we kissed and how ridiculously giddy i was. it really does feel like it was just yesterday. i know i've expressed it an endless amount of times throughout my blogs but i'm just really glad we've made it this far. i love him too much for my own good and although i think of myself as independent, i would feel a bit lost without him in my life. who would be there to make me fall over laughing from his silly jokes and random moments of craziness? who would be there to cuddle and rub my back for me!? and really, who would be able to know me inside and out as well as he does, its hard to say but i've never had anybody know me to the extent where all i have to do is look at him and he knows something is wrong. so in conclusion to this point; michael i hope we get to celebrate more anniversarys and experience more events throughout our lives. i love you with my whole heart! xo

well, its fairly late and i should probably get some sleep. as of right now i have been going to sleep at 230-300 in the AM every night and waking up around 1030 in the morning. DEF not enough sleep for mee.


Monday, May 4, 2009

its been too long.

so i've been seriously slack on postings. i know, i suck.
life got crazy towards the end of school, but im happy to say that i passed my first year of university! muahah and with decent grades too :). so now that school is done and summer is here, this is a lowdown on what i have been up to:

- road trip to st.catharines the minute my last exam finished.
- slept in till 2 in the pm every day my first week home.
- had a couple of job interviews, landed my first gig as a freelance photographer for the local newspaper! look for my name at the bottom of some photos ;) aha can't wait to start that.
- couple of picture adventures here and there
- a zillion trips to dairy queen for a georgia mud fudge blizzard-my guilty pleasuree. its going straight to mah hippss!
- bonfire to see some old friends :)
- spending lotsa time babysitting my nieces !
- working on my carr, yes i am slowly becoming a grease monkey paha
- trying to plan out a weekend to see leviana, my bff from university.
- being a computer nerd and surfing the world wide web for cool new blogs & websites
-FINALLY gave into the twitter craze paha, i seriously suck at it
- went to the cottage with my boy for our two year anniversary [which is on thursday ! <3]
- and in between all of that helping out with my old high school's rugby team, had a practice today and a game tomorrow! Let's go marauders!

So far so good for summer, i just wish the weather would warm up. It's been flip flopping all over the place between super humid, to thunderstorms and loads of rain and then back to the freezing cold with ridiculous wind. i just cannot wait for my first trip to the beach that is for sure.

well thats about it so far, ill post links to those new blogs i've found over the past few days that you should most definetly check out if you have a minute!
-a entire blog dedicated to images of love. can we just say that IM IN LOVE :)
- one of the most inspirational people i've everr met. her writing is uhmazing.
- this girl is hilarious. i don't remember the last time i laughed outload after reading justone post.
- cutest doodles of my life.