i've started a new book. cracked open the new spine. flipped to the first chapter. i'm growing up.
i've completed my first week at university. i've survived. the first few days were nervewracking. i felt extremely out of place, and in some situations i still do, but i've discovered a new confidence about myself. a new skin that i sit comfortably in- something that i've never had or experienced before. i've met so many interesting people whom i look forward to creating amazing friendships with.
i still miss my boy. but i imagined my reaction to be completely different. i miss him, but i'm not diminishing with every passing minute we're not together like i thought i would. like i usually am when i've gone away the few times this past year. is it because we have no choice? no way out of this situation? there are still moments where i fear i'm losing him because we can't see each other, feel or touch each other, enjoy each others company. that there is some other girl who's slowly sweeping him off his feet. someone else who's caught his eye. i eventually realize i am over thinking and in order to keep myself sane, stop thinking these mundane thoughts.
i'm coming home for the weekend. i look forward to sleeping in my room again, and saying goodbye to a few friends. seeing my family and my boy. i hope i won't get upset leaving again.
i've never really been good at goodbyes though.